Double Clutch - Реинхардт Лиз - Страница 21

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I didn’t want to look, but I was right there at Kelsie’s side in a second. How was I supposed to not look? Realistically, there was no way I could resist the temptation.

He gazed at the camera totally bleary-eyed, just like in his other picture. He had definitely been drinking or worse, and his arm was around her in this really lazy way, like he was super comfortable with her. Her caption was, “Me and 1 of my Boyzzzz!”

“What does that mean?” I asked. “And why so many ‘z’s’?”

“It means she’s a super skank with a harem of ‘boyzzz,’” Kelsie buzzed, “and Jake is one of them. Brenna, don’t sweat it, this picture is from last spring.”

There were random comments under the picture about how cute the girl looked and what a good couple she and Jake would make written by other fish-faced girls with no grammar skills and way too much eye makeup. It made my stomach churn. I started to really, really wish that I had never checked the stupid page.

But Kelsie was totally enjoying herself. There were similar pictures of Jake on two of the other girls’ pages and it made me similarly upset. How was this happening? How was my Jake also this half-drunk man whore? They were like two pieces from different puzzles; no matter how I tried, I couldn’t fit them together.

Kelsie yawned. “You like a bad, bad boy.” She poked me with her toe as she stretched. “I’ll go get you the air mattress.” She went to get it and I went back to Jake’s profile, to the first picture, the one of Jake with his gray eyes and crooked smile, leaned on his dirt bike. This was the picture that made sense to me. Was I stupid to think this was the real Jake?

We set up my bed, and Kelsie collapsed and was out like a light in no time. I tossed a little. I had gone from feeling like a loose woman to an oblivious loser. What was it I had done with Saxon? A few kisses? What had Jake done? What was he doing right now? What was Saxon doing? It was Friday night. Where were they? Those were my last thoughts before I fell into a deep sleep.

I thought I’d have crazy dreams all night, but there was nothing. I was totally at peace until the morning. When I got up, I asked Kelsie if I could use her shower and she rolled her eyes and waved me away. “Of course. Let me sleep.”

I showered, did my hair, put on makeup and got dressed for my day. IKEA was a good forty minutes away, so Mom and Thorsten were coming early.

“Don’t get out of bed. My mom just called, and she’ll be here in five minutes.” Kelsie smiled and asked if I was sure. I kissed her forehead. “I’m sure. Let’s do it again soon.” She gave me a sleepy thumbs up, and I went to sit on her porch.

Sussex County was made up of rolling hills and lots of big, old trees. It used to all be farm land, and most of the farms were dairy farms, so it was still really beautiful. A lot of the people had jobs in New York City, like Thorsten, so there was an abundance of money here, and the people with money bought these old farms and made them look authentic except really well maintained and with only a few horses for joy riding. It was like those modern art pictures of cities where they take out the garbage and neaten everything up; hyperrealism.

I sat on the steps waiting for Mom and Thorsten to pull in. The wind was cool on my face and smelled really crisp. I loved autumn in New Jersey. Kelsie’s mom was in the kitchen; I had said a quick good-bye and thank you and turned down her offer for breakfast. It would have broken Thorsten’s heart if I’d eaten on a Saturday morning without him. I could still hear her mom puttering in the kitchen through the open window, but other than that I felt alone in the world, which was one of my favorite feelings.

Sitting there on the steps, enjoying the peace, I wondered if I should think about becoming a hermit. Or a nun. Cutting guys out of my life would pretty much slice through all of my current problems.

Chapter 5

When Thorsten’s truck pulled up, I was so happy to see them my heart pattered in my chest. Mom and Thorsten waved out the windows. It felt good to be loved.

“How was it?” Mom asked.

“So fun.” I pulled off my shoe and sock and wiggled my toes, showing off my new pedicure.

Mom shook her head in admiration. “Kelsie is a true artist.”

“How do you know I didn’t do it?”

“Because the skin around your toes isn’t painted.” She ruffled my hair.

“I’m starving,” Thorsten said. “Your mother wouldn’t let me eat, Brenna. Is it okay if we stop and grab a bite?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I laughed; I had Thorsten so pegged it was ridiculous.

My good mood bubbled on and on, and even had me singing along to the classic rock station Mom and Thorsten love. No one with a soul can resist “Jack and Diane,” even on a bad day. But of course, it was too good to be true. I tried not to let them see my panic when we pulled into Zinga’s.

“We’re stopping here?” I pressed my forehead to the window and groaned.

“Is this okay?” Thorsten asked. “I’ve been craving their apple tarts. Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“No.” I forced a smile and peeled my head off the glass. “This is great.”

I couldn’t live my life avoiding him. Besides, with any luck he’d be out hoeing some pumpkins or whatever they do on a farm, and I wouldn’t even see him. Mom was already exclaiming over all of the weird little things that were everywhere to buy.

“Look honey!” she called to Thorsten, and I could see him struggling between being good to his wife and being good to his stomach. Luckily, he didn’t have to decide, because Mom already bounded away from a stone fountain shaped like a boy peeing into a shell to a huge Virgin Mary standing on a mirrored glass ball.

I wandered towards the mounds of bumpy gourds in huge crates and looked through them absently.

“Hey,” said a voice so achingly familiar it made my head light.

If I said that I wasn’t happy to see him, it would be a bald-faced lie. I was almost sad that I had seen everything I had seen on the computer the night before. But I guessed it was better to find out about him earlier than later, before my heart got completely crushed.

“Hey.” I smiled half-heartedly. I couldn’t help it. I’d always kind of sucked at pretending that I wasn’t feeling something.

He squinted at me with concern. It was the same Jake, complete with his chipped tooth and bashful smile. “Are you okay? You look kind of tired or something.”

“I checked your Facebook page.” I picked up a bumpy green gourd and turned it in my hand slowly.

His eyes widened and he swallowed twice. “Oh.” He shifted from one mud-caked boot to the other. He wore almost exactly the same outfit he’d been wearing on Friday. I thought it was weird that he didn’t have a separate set of clothes for work and school. “That picture, with the girls, they weren’t my girlfriends. Aren’t my girlfriends. I mean neither of them was a girl I dated.”

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