The Burning Shore - Smith Wilbur - Страница 101
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She murmured a protest and began to rise, but H'ani pulled her down again. O'wa kept puffing and exhaling, and after a while Centaine found the smoke less offensive.
She relaxed and leaned against H'ani. The old woman placed an arm around her shoulders. Slowly Centaine became aware of a marvelous sense of well-being. Her body felt as light as that of a bird, she felt she could float up with the spirals of blue smoke.
Oh, H'ani, I feel so good, she whispered.
The air around her seemed sparkling clear, her vision sharp and magnified so she could see every crack and 4A crevice in the surrounding cliffs, and the groves of trees A seemed to be made of green crystals. They reflected the sunlight with an ethereal radiance.
She became aware that O'wa. was kneeling in front of her, and she smiled at him dreamily. He was offering something, holding it out towards her with both hands. I It is for the child, he told her, and his voice seemed A to come from far away and echo strangely in her ears. It is the birthing mat. His father should have made it for him, but that could not be. Here, Nam Child, take it and bear a brave son upon it. O'wa leaned forward and placed the gift upon her lap.
it took long seconds before she realized that it was the gemsbok skin over which O'wa had worked so long and so intently. She unfolded it with exaggerated care. The skin had been scraped and tanned to the pliability and softness of fine cloth. She stroked it and the fur felt like satin. I i Thank you, old grandfather, her voice came from far away, and reverberated strangely in her own ears.
It is for the child, he repeated, and sucked on the buckhorn pipe.
For the child, yes Centaine nodded and her head seemed to float free of her body. O'wa gently exhaled a Stream of blue smoke into her face and she made no effort to av old it, rather she leaned forward to stare into his eyes. O'wa's pupils had shrunk to glittering black pinpricks, the irises were the colour of dark amber with a fanlike pattern of black lines surrounding the pupils.
They mesmerized her.
For the child's sake, let the peace of this place enter your soul. O`wa spoke through the smoke, and Centaine felt it happen.
Peace, she murmured, and at the centre of her being was a wondrous stillness, a monumental calm.
Time and space and white sunlight mingled and became one. She sat at the centre of the universe and smiled serenely, She heard O`wa singing far away, and she swayed gently to the rhythm and felt each beat of her heart and the slow pump of her blood through her veins.
She felt the child lying deep within her, curled in an attitude of prayer, then, unbelievably, she felt the tiny heart beating like that of a trapped bird, and the wonder of it engulfed her whole being.
We have come to be cleansed O'wa sang. We have come to wash away all offence, we have come to make atonement Centaine felt H'ani's hand creep into hers like a fragileboned animal, and she turned her head slowly and smiled into the beloved old face.
It is time, Nam Child Centaine drew the gemsbok skin over her shoulder. It required no effort to rise. She floated above the earth, with H'ani's little hand clutched in hers.
They came to the opening in the hillside, and though it was dark and steep, Centaine went forward smiling, and she did not feel the coarse volcanic rock beneath her feet. The passageway descended for a short distance, and then levelled out and opened into a natural cavern. They followed O'wa down.
Light filtered from the stairway behind them and from a number of small openings in the domed roof. The air was warm and moist and steamy. The clouds of steam tly from the surface of a circular pool that filled rose gen the cavern from side to side. The surface of the pool seethed and bubbled softly, and the steam smelled strongly of sulphur. The waters were cloudy green.
O'wa let his loincloth fall to the rocky floor and stepped into the pool. It reached to his knees but as he waded forward it deepened, until only his head was above the surface. H'ani followed him naked into the pool, and Centaine laid the gemsbok skin aside, and let her skirt fall.
The water was hot, almost scalding, a thermal spring welling up out of the matrix, but Centaine felt no discomfort . She moved deeper and then sank down slowly on to her knees until the water came to her chin. The floor of the pool was coarse pebble and gravel. The fierce heat of the waters soaked into her body. It swirled and eddied about her, kneading her flesh, as it bubbled up out of the depths of the earth.
She heard O'wa singing softly, but the steam clouds closed in around her and blinded her.
We wish to make atonement, O'wa sang. We wish to be forgiven our offences to the Spirits- Centaine saw a shape forming in the steam, clouds, a dark, insubstantial phantom.
Who are you? she murmured, and the shape firmed, and she recognized the eyes, the other features were obscure, as those of the old seaman she had sacrificed to the shark.
Please, she whispered, forgive me. It was for my baby.
Please forgive my offence. It seemed that for a moment there was understanding in those sad old eyes, and then the image faded and vanished in the steam banks, to be replaced by others, a host of memories and dream creaand she spoke to them.
tures, Oh, Papa, if I had only been strong enough, if only I could have filled Mama's place-, She heard the voices of the San in the steam, crying out in greeting to their own ghosts and memories. O'wa hunted again with his sons, and H'ani saw her babies and her grandchildren and crooned her love and mourning.
Oh, Michel, his eyes were a Marvellous blue, I will love you for ever. Yes, oh yes, I will name your son for you. I promise you that, my love, he will carry your name. How long she remained in the pool she did not know, but gradually the fantasies and the phantoms faded, and then she felt H'ani's hands leading her to the rocky lip.
The scalding waters seemed to have drained all the strength from her. Her body glowed a bright brick colour, and the ingrained dirt of the desert was scoured from the pores of her skin. Her knees were weak and rubbery.
H'ani draped the gemsbok skin over her wet body and helped her up the rocky passage to the surface. Night had fallen already, and the moon shone bright enough to cast shadows at their feet. H'ani led her to the rude shelter and wrapped her in the gemsbok skin.
The Spirits have forgiven, she whispered. They are pleased that we have made the journey. They sent my babies to greet me and tell me so. You can sleep well, Nam Child, there is no more offence. We are welcome in this place.
Centaine woke in confusion, not sure what was happening to her, not even certain where she was, imagining for the first few seconds that she was back in her chamber at Mort Homme and that Anna was standing beside her bed. Then she became aware of the coarse grass and hard earth beneath her and the smell of the rawhide that covered her, and immediately following that the pain came again. It was as though a claw had closed on her lower body, a cruel taloned claw, cramping and crushing her, and she cried out involuntarily and doubled over, clutching her stomach.
With the pain, reality rushed back upon her. Her mind was clear and sharp after the hallucinations of the previous day. She knew what was happening, she knew instinctively that the immersion in the heated waters of the pool and the drugged smoke she had breathed must have precipitated it.
H'ani! she called, and the old woman materialized out of the grey half light. It has begun! H'ani helped her to her feet, then gathered up the gemsbok skin.
Come, she whispered. We must go where we can be alone. H'ani must have already chosen the place, for she led Centaine directly to a hollow a short way beyond the camp, but screened from it by the mongongo grove. She spread the gemsbok skin at the base of a large mongongo tree and settled Centaine upon it. She knelt over her and removed her ragged canvas skirt, then with quick, strong fingers, she made a brief but thorough examination and then rocked back on her heels.
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