Of Beast and Beauty - Jay Stacey - Страница 38

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love the way he talks, his myriad grunts, the rumble in his chest when he

laughs. I even love the way he gets grumpy with me and isn’t afraid to show

it.

But most of all, I love the way he touches me, the way I touch him.

I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I just don’t see how something

that feels so right can be wrong.

“It does feel right,” I whisper, rolling onto my back, breath finally

coming easier. “It feels … wonderful.” I smile despite the pain still pulsing

behind my eyelids. Not even this nasty headache can dampen my spirits.

I stretch my arms above my head and point my toes and arch like a

cat, more aware of my physical being than I’ve ever been. My entire body

tingles at the thought of being back with Gem. Unfortunately, my body is

also dirty and, a quick sniff confirms, none too fresh-smelling. There isn’t

time for a bath—though Gem is well hidden behind the bushes on the

unguarded side of the tower, I don’t want to leave him waiting—but I can

at least have Needle bring a bowl of water and a sponge and beg her to do

something with my hair before I head back out into the night.

After I ask her to bring me something to eat. I’m faint with hunger.

“Needle!” I call from my place on the ground, too exhausted to

bother getting up. “I’m back. I’m on the balcony. Can you bring some fruit

and nuts? Enough for two?”

“Who else are you feeding?” The deep, angry male voice is

completely unexpected, making me bolt into a seated position.

I knock my head on the parapet but ignore the agony blossoming in

my skull as my headache becomes something much more painful. I spin and

spring onto the balls of my bare feet, staying in a crouch, ready to hurl

myself at this man’s voice and knock him flat the second he proves he’s

here to hurt me.

Bo’s hint that someone in Yuan has been poisoning me comes back in

a rush, making me shake as I demand, “Who’s there? Who are you?”

“It’s Bo,” he says, making my jaw drop. He sounds nothing like

himself. His voice is so deep and angry and … cutting. “You’re filthy. Get up

off the floor. You look like an animal,” he continues, barking at me like one

of his misbehaving underlings.

“Bo, I …” I want to tell him to leave me be, but I can’t until I learn

how much he knows. “What are you doing here?”

“Better question, where have you been? I discovered you were

missing early this evening.” I hear his footsteps moving closer, and the hair

at the back of my neck prickles. My mind tells me Bo wouldn’t hurt me, but

something instinctive urges me to run, to fight him if he tries to stop me.

“Who have you been with, Isra? What kind of man leaves you looking like

that? Like he had you in the dirt?”

“What?” I laugh, even as my cheeks heat. Surely he can’t mean—

“You think this is funny?” Bo snatches my arm, and pulls me to my

feet. My laughter ends in a gasp of surprise. And pain. His fingers don’t feel

soft anymore. They bite through my flesh, not shying away when they find

bone. “You think it’s funny to make a fool of me?”

“Let me go,” I order in my iciest tone, doing my best to ignore the

fear making my blood race and my splitting head spin.

If Bo decides to abuse me—here in my private chambers, where no

one but he and his father have ever dared set foot—there will be no one to

stop him. Needle’s life will be over if she lays hands on a soldier. The

punishment for assaulting a member of the guard is death.

The thought makes my heart beat even faster. Penalty of death or

no, she would still defend me. I have to tell her to stay out of this, no

matter what. “Where’s Needle?” I ask, trying not to wince when Bo’s grip

grows tighter. “I require my maid.”

“Your maid is in your bedroom,” he says, his tone openly mocking.

“With orders not to set foot outside it until I find out who the queen has

been rutting with tonight.”

Fury banishes my fear and pain. How dare he? “Get out,” I snap.

“Now. Before I punish you the way I would anyone else who spoke to me

that way.”

Now it’s his turn to laugh, an ugly laugh that makes my throat tight.

“Are you threatening me?”

“It’s not a threat; it’s a warning.” With a sharp jerk, I wrench my arm

from his grasp. Pain knifes through my head in response, but I blink it away,

ignoring the throbbing behind my eyes and the pitching of my stomach. I

can’t show weakness, not if I want to take the upper hand. “I am the queen

of Yuan. If I wanted you wrapped in chains and tossed into the river, I could

have it done. Within the hour. You forget yourself.”

“No, you forget yourself,” he snaps. “You aren’t a queen; you’re a

disgrace. Everyone knows it. That’s why your father locked you away in the

first place.”

“You have one minute to leave before I call the guards.”

“I can’t believe I felt sorry for you.” His anger is a live thing, hovering

in the air between us, threatening to dig its claws into me all over again. “I

can’t believe I defended your life while you deceived me!”

“You’re out of your mind.” I try to stand tall, but the torture in my

skull makes me sway. I brush my hair from my clammy forehead and

swallow the bile rising in my throat. “I’ve never deceived you,” I say, voice

breathier than I would like.

“But you would have,” he says. “When we were married, and you

bore me a bastard.”

For a moment all I can do is lean against the parapet, gaping in his

direction, reeling from shock and trying not to be sick. “We aren’t even

betrothed.”

“But we would have been. It was understood. By everyone, and I

don’t—”

I cut him off with a hand held in the air between us. “It doesn’t

matter what was understood. There are no papers signed. You never even

asked permission to court me. You certainly haven’t earned the right to act

like a jealous husband.”

“I planned to ask you to marry me tonight,” he says. “But instead of

finding you waiting for news about the welfare of your city, I found the

tower deserted and you out spreading your legs—”

“Stop this,” I hiss, shaking with anger. “I’ve done nothing to deserve

this, and even if I had, it isn’t your place to speak to your queen like a

woman you bought for the night!” I shout, regretting it immediately as the

pain grows so fierce that tears fill my eyes.

I take a breath and try to blink them away, hating that Bo might think

that I care enough to cry over anything he has to say, but the agony only

grows worse. The bursts of color return, coming faster, a dizzying barrage

of red and green and orange that makes it difficult to focus on his words.

“I wouldn’t … None of this would have happened if …” He clears his

throat. “I came here to tell you the dome hasn’t been compromised. I did

the inspection myself. It was a snake skin on the glass. I was … so happy,”

he says, a hitch in his voice. “For you. And myself. I couldn’t wait to tell

you.”

“That’s wonderful news,” I whisper, bracing myself against the

balcony wall with both hands.

I’m shaking again. Shaking and sweating, the misery in my head

swiftly becoming more than I can bear. I have to get rid of Bo. I need

Needle to help me into bed and then hurry down and help Gem sneak back

to his cell. I won’t be seeing him or the roses tonight. I can barely stay

upright, let alone go jumping from roofs.

“Bo, this isn’t what you’re thinking.” I hate defending myself to him,

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