Bend - Bromberg K. - Страница 104

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"I…uh…I thought maybe a shower?" I said, putting it more like a question than a statement.

"We can do that," he said, rousting himself up. "But we're doing it together."

And that's exactly how our Sunday went. We did everything together.

We showered, we ate, we made love, we watched television, we ate, we fucked, we showered again and then we cuddled and I was thinking that cuddling with my man was pretty fucking awesome too.

I put the flannel PJ's with the feet in them that Darcy had given me for Christmas on after our last shower. I returned to the bathroom, dressed, to hang up my damp towels.

Cain was standing in front of the mirrored vanity, towel slung low on his hips shaving when he happened to glance over at me and then did a double take.

"Ah, hell to the no, woman," he barked, his brow cocked; a hint of amusement flickered across his face.

"What?" I asked innocently, looking down at my totally-covered-in-flannel body.

"You'll not be wearing that shit to bed because I swear I'll rip them off of you. Unacceptable, babe."

"Cain," I whined, "For Chrissake, I'm sore. Can we just cuddle for a bit?"

He turned back to the mirror, tilted his face upward so that he could take his razor up under his chin.

"We did that cuddling shit earlier," he replied, shaking the razor to get the shaving cream off in the sink full of water. "This is our last night together," he said plainly. "I want to make it memorable."

I had to smile. "On two conditions," I parried.

He looked at my reflection in the mirror, quirking a brow again and waiting to hear my conditions.

"First," I said, "We sleep in my room tonight, okay?"

He nodded and waited for me to continue.

"Secondly, uh…can you be extra gentle?" I asked hesitantly because, the truth was, my crotch was, in fact, sore from all the attention he'd been giving it for the last day and a half.

"Why do you think I'm standing here removing my face stubble, babe? You think I can't see your reddened skin?"

I felt myself blush, of all things. Where in the hell did that come from? This man had seen and licked every inch of my body, including every crack and crevice, the truth be told.

I stifled a giggle and left the bathroom, pulling off all of the sheets on their bed and throwing them into the washer.

I re-made their bed with fresh sheets and blankets.

"Why are you doing that?" Cain asked as he came out of the bathroom, wearing a white T-shirt and low-slung pajama pants.

I shrugged. "I just don't think I want Eli to come home to sheets that…you know?"

"What? Smell like our sex?"

"Yes," I said, quickly, tossing a bit of a glare into it.

"Don't you think that I would've had the good sense to do that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Cain," I sighed. "This is just…new to me. I don't think I'll know how to act around him when he comes home."

I was tucking in the top sheet when he came over and pulled me around to face him.

"Stop," he said firmly. "Eli knows what's happening with us this weekend and he is fine with it," he said, annunciating the last six words.

I turned from him, and continued making up the bed. "He's fine with it because he loves you," I said, a hint of exasperation in my voice. "And he would allow this before he'd ever want to lose you and I guess I don't blame him."

"Hey," he said, a little louder, "He loves you, too. He doesn't want to lose you either."

"It's not the same, Cain," I said, sighing loudly. "It's just not the same thing."

He grabbed me then, pulling me up against his hard chest. "You need to give it some time, baby. You'll see. It's all gonna work out fine."

He stroked my hair with his hand, and he held me against him and for a minute, I wanted to totally believe that he was right.

That everything would work out fine.

To say that things were a bit…strange after Eli returned home Monday evening would be a bit of an understatement.

I mean, Cain was fine. It was as if nothing had changed between him and Eli, but I couldn't say the same for me.

All kinds of fucked-up emotions were springing forth, ranging from guilt and shame, to a little bit of resentment when they headed off to their room that night…together, as in at the same time, which almost never happened.

I went to bed with my ear buds in, listening to a heavy metal station because I'd be damned if I was going to let myself get lulled to sleep by the sound of their headboard banging a tune against their wall. And that's when the resentment part really started seeping in, and I know that's fucked up, alright?

I busied myself at work, and then stayed late to work out each night at the gym so that I would miss dinner with my guys. It seemed that putting up with Darin's little comments and innuendos in the weight room was preferable to my feeling like some twisted bitch home-wrecker.

The truth was that Eli hadn't been anything but sweet to me since his return home. Yet something had changed and we both knew it.

I would lie alone in my bed every night and feel totally clueless as to how I was supposed to handle this. I ached for Cain, but I knew that I really had no right to feel that way, if that made sense.

It was Thursday and it was New Year's Eve to boot. Long holiday weekend.

Fucking lovely.

I was just finishing up with my filing when my cell rang. It was Cain.

"You gonna be home for dinner tonight or are you going to continue avoiding me?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts because he was right. I no longer felt comfortable around him—or Eli for that matter. This was too difficult for me. I didn't possess the emotional armor to be able to pull something off like this. At all.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out. "You're right—I have been avoiding you guys."

"Why?" he deadpanned, as if it weren't totally obvious.

"I don't care who's blessing we have, Cain. I can't do this. I just can't. I love Eli too much. There. I've said it."

"What the fuck? You think that Eli and I don't love you every bit as much?"

"First off, Cain, I don't think that you should be the one speaking for Eli, okay? And secondly—regardless of how we all love one another, I can't share. Period. I'm going to find another place to live."

"The hell you are," he growled at me. "You're not going anywhere, Paige. You need to face the facts right here."

"Oh no," I said, tossing some downright haughtiness into my voice. I swiveled around in my desk chair so I faced the wall, hoping my voice didn't carry.

"You don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do. It's clear to me that you've not gone without fucking…someone since Eli came home. And how fucking pathetic is it that I even just said that to you? Jesus Christ, this is so not who I want to be," I halfway wailed. "So, to answer your question? I won't be home for dinner tonight…or breakfast tomorrow. Happy fucking New Year."

End Call.

I managed to find somewhere to crash for the night so that I could have some time to think things through like I needed to. One of my co-workers, Julie, came by as I was sitting in my car in the parking lot, staring into space and totally clueless as to where I could go.

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