Defending Pacer - Hamilton T. J. - Страница 41
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I think about his words and remember my past week with Pacer and his family. How could I ever try to forget them now? But my family is my blood. They’re my reason for life. I want them to understand that I’m okay and that Pacer isn’t as bad as the media say.
What kind of father does this? He wants me to choose. The thought of it alone is too much. I can’t bare it. I see the figure of Dad through tear-soaked eyes, but can no longer make out the expression on his face. It’s a small reprieve.
“Mum?” I whimper.
Her voice is less angry, but still full of disappointment. “Chelsea, dear. You have to understand—there are rules in this world that dictate whom we can and can’t associate with. We are just two very different families. What did you expect to happen? We were going to sit down for a meal together and come together as one happy family? The world just doesn’t work like that.” She glances to Dad. “Your father and I have worked very hard to keep this family at a high level within society. The media are having a field day with this, and there is nothing I can do to stop it! This doesn’t just effect you. I’m already being shunned from certain circles because of this. Your father’s name is being dragged through the mud. Just think about what you’re doing.”
There is no hope. How can I possibly chose between my family and a man who has made me feel more than I have ever dreamed to feel? His family, everyone in his life have made me feel as if I was someone important to them.
I don’t know what I was expecting. I didn’t think I was going to have this—an ultimatum. A true family wouldn’t do this. Pacer’s family would never do this. My father was the one who sentenced Vincenzo Fratelli to his subsequent death, but they’ve only opened their hearts to me.
“How can you do this? I have been a good daughter to you. I’ve never touched drugs, studied hard at school, got the best grades at university and became one of the best barristers in the city!” I cry.
“And you’re going to throw all of that away for a criminal?”
I can’t take any more of Dad’s words, and I get up to leave.
“If you walk out of here now, you will NEVER be accepted back!” My Dad’s voice frightens me.
Tears stream down the face of my mother. I’ve never seen her cry, not even when my grandfather died.
“I’m sorry,” I sob as I look at my Mum.
I turn and walk. I can’t do this anymore.
They will come around, one day. They have to. Right now, I need to go.
“You are making a mistake, Chelsea.” My Mum’s pleading is the last thing I hear as I walk out of Dolorous.
***
Looking around my terrace, I feel very disconnected with the whole space. Another knock on the door makes me jolt. There is no privacy here!
I wish they would all fuck right off. This trip on Pacer’s Dad’s boat couldn’t come at a more perfect time. I need to leave to clear my head from all that has happened. A few months just circumnavigating the globe is exactly what I need to get away and consider everything my parents have forced upon me. They would accept me back if I returned, I know it. But could I leave Pacer?
Another knock at the door pushes me over the edge—I can’t stand it anymore.
“Will you just fuck off?” I screech.
“Chels, let me in, quick!” I hear Logan call out.
Shit! Swinging the door open I pull her in, and meet with a face full of flashes at the same time. She shakes herself off and looks up to me with a flushed face.
“Are you okay?” She holds my shoulders as she speaks.
Nodding I blink away the threatening tears. I guess she’s heard about Mum and Dad. I can’t talk right now.
Her sympathetic gaze is hard to ignore. “My Mum told me what happened. I think it’s a bit rough. But they just don’t get it. I don’t think they ever will either, Chels.”
“Then I have no other choice but to leave for a while.” I can’t stay in this city now. How could I?
She nods. “How long do you think you’ll be gone for?”
“As long as it takes for the city to calm down over this.” I shrug.
“What about your work?”
“How am I supposed to do any work with that going on? My clients will be harassed. No one will be getting a fair trial if I represent them. My boss suggested I take some time off. My family, my work, the city—they’re all against me.” The tears well in my eyes as I speak.
“I’m so sorry, Chels. I just hope things will sort itself out.” Logan hugs me.
“I’m going to miss you.” I hold her tight.
“Nah, you won’t. You’ll be having plenty of fun with your lover boy. It’s going to be a trip of a lifetime.”
I look at her face and smile. It feels like a last goodbye, but I know it won’t be long before I’ll see her again.
“There’s one last thing I need you to do,” I say as I grab a file from my kitchen table. “Could you please deliver these to Lou at the cafe? They’re the documents for the trust that has been drawn up for his cafe. I’ve left enough money that any displaced person can have a bacon and egg roll at his cafe for free. He wasn’t impressed with the idea, but the money is more than he’d ever earn in a decade.”
Logan shakes her head but smiles. “You have always been a Mother Teresa. You’ve always had to help people, ever since we were kids. Please don’t ever change. No matter what.”
“I couldn’t if I tried,” I say with a grin.
***
The Lady Maria. She is a beautiful boat, as I imagined she would be. The interior is rich with woods and navy blue fabrics. The furniture is really tasteful, and not an Italian designer in sight. In fact my Dad’s boat is very similar and ironically, this is also berthed in the same marina as my Dad’s, here in Rushcutters Bay.
The cameras followed us from my terrace to Pacer’s house, then down as far as they could get at the Cruising Yacht Club. Thank Christ this is a restricted area, but I know the paparazzi’s lenses are powerful enough to zoom right in on everything we’re doing. I can feel them everywhere. I’ve never felt so suffocated. I feel as if we can’t go anywhere or do anything. My parents are going to see all of this, and be hurt by it. They’ll see me leaving with Pacer and know the decision I’ve made.
I shake my head, reminding myself that they’re the ones who don’t want to accept this. They gave me the ultimatum. If I weren’t pushed away, I wouldn’t be going. I almost don’t want to come back. This isn’t any kind of life to live—filled with cameras and judgment.
“Please look after each other.” Pacer’s Mum holds my hands tight as Logan helps Pacer load my suitcases aboard. “You have both been through so much. Just be there for each other.”
I smile. “I couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone else.”
“Okay.” Pacer comes up the stairs from the bedrooms on the lower level. “I think we have loaded your thousand suitcases now, and we’re set to go.”
Looking at Logan, I feel the tears building again. As much as I wish things were different, deep down I have the sinking feeling that this is just how it’s going to be forever. I am no longer part of my own family. From this time on, I only have Pacer’s family and Logan.
“If they put pressure on you, I understand if you can’t be part of my life anymore. This is my choice and my burden to carry, not yours.” The tears overflow and roll down my cheek.
Logan smiles. “That’s never going to happen. I won’t let it.” She hugs me tight again.
“Make sure you send postcards of all the places you go.” His ma points her finger between the two of us.
Nodding, I answer, “Of course.”
We all say our final goodbyes and prepare to launch. As we pull away from the berth, I stand at the rear and wave at Logan and Ma Fratelli on the pontoon.
***
Cruising through the headlands of Sydney harbour, the waves pick up and the boat rocks over the rolling ocean. The last of the boats filled with photographers dwindle off as we head farther out into the open ocean.
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