Beyond The Blue Mountains - Plaidy Jean - Страница 52

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“She will never beat you any more, Carolan. Give me my chocolate, child. I do not care for it cold.” She drank greedily.

“Ah! This is good! You make better chocolate than mad Millie does.”

“Mamma… you are not sorry you ran away?”

“Ran away from Haredon? My child, how can you ask? Of course not. I would follow your father to the end of the earth!”

There she sat leaning back on her pillows, carefree, thinking of nothing but that Carolan made better chocolate than Millie.

“But, Mamma, this is so different from Haredon!”

“I do not wish to return, nevertheless. Of course, I miss Therese. What a wonder she was! Certainly I miss her. But I hated the squire, darling. Your father is my true husband.”

“He is a dear,” said Carolan.

“You are fond of him already?”

“He is so gentle, so … everything that one would hope a father might be. But, Mamma, this place … is it … is it… a good business proposition?”

Kitty laughed.

“La, child! Do you expect me to understand what is and what is not a good business proposition? I was never clever enough; I leave that to your father.”

“He seemed to me a little worried.”

“Worried! Indeed he is not! He is very happy here… with me … and I am happy. All those long years I waited for him, did I not? Waited and grieved, and he came for me as I knew he would… but the waiting was hard…”

Carolan smiled at her with tolerant affection. How fortunate to be able to believe just what you wanted to believe. Dear Mammal No wonder she had had so many lovers; she would make each feel that he was the best, the only one that mattered, while the others were mere episodes. And she would make that belief possible, because she herself believed it so sincerely.

Carolan tried again.

“Everything down there is in such a jumble, Mamma, so untidy. The shops I passed on my way here had wares displayed temptingly in their windows. Ours is not very attractive… not even very clean.”

Kitty leaned on a plump elbow and surveyed her daughter. She began to laugh.

“What a little wiseacre you have become, Miss Carolan. So solemn. It is no use trying to make me solemn, I warn you. I positively refuse to be. Why, what should I have been now, had I allowed trifles to worry me? Old. Haggard! With a million lines about my face!” She picked up the mirror and looked at her reflection smilingly.

“Whereas … I am … I refuse to tell you how old I am, Carolan! And you should be ashamed to ask me! When I think of all I’ve gone through … the weary waiting for your father… and then, after we came together again…”

“Yes.” said Carolan eagerly, seating herself on the bed, ‘afterwards, when you came together?”

“There was a terrible time I went through! Poverty! My child, you have no conception of what poverty I suffered. I… who had always previously been so free from want. Even when I was with Aunt Harriet and I can tell you I suffered in that hell-cat’s house, my dear even then I had enough to eat!”

“Mamma! Were you and my father starving, then?” Kitty was rocking to and fro on the bed in an agony of remembrance.

“It was terrible! Terrible! The filthy lodging-houses! The dreadful food…. and then no food at all. Your poor father used to say: “Kitty, it would have been better had you stayed at Haredon!” I answered: “Indeed not! My place is by your side, Darrell. No matter what I must suffer, that is where my place is!” ‘ Was it really true, wondered Carolan, or was she playing another part the faithful lover? No I There must be a modicum of truth in it.

“Did he do no work then, Mamma?”

“He worked for a merchant. He worked along the wharfside.” She shivered and covered her face with her hands. Then she removed them and smiled radiantly.

“But why do we talk of it? Now all is well.”

“Ah, Mamma! Are you sure all is well?”

“My child! Oh, my solemn little darling! Of course all is well. We have the shop now. Your father says the shop will make our fortunes, and your father was never a man to adorn a tale. He says that after a short stay here in this perfectly frightful neighbourhood … And let me tell you, Carolan, it is frightful, and you must always remember should I and your father forget to lock up the doors and lower windows every night…”

“There is so much I do not understand,” said Carolan.

“It is such a queer sort of shop… without any customers.”

“You must not worry your head over it, Carolan - I do not. I trust in your father. He has promised me a house in the country with servants to wait upon me, and he is not a man to make promises lightly, that much I know. Oh, Carolan, what a happy day when we leave this place! I can see the house I shall have … I can see it clearly …” Her manner changed suddenly. Now she was gracious, full of dignity, receiving her guests at the top of a wide staircase; and that image was more real to her than this tawdry room and her daughter, sitting there on the bed.

Kitty stopped dreaming abruptly and said: “My dear, pass me that wrap, and I will have a little more of the bacon.”

She ate heartily.

“I am glad,” said Carolan, watching her, ‘that you do not regret leaving Haredon.”

Kitty laughed.

“That place! That beast there! Ah, how he tormented me! And should I be the one to pine for a country life? No! No! Now if I had a carriage… I cannot get about as I would, but your father will not get me a carriage; he says we cannot afford it. He has said we must save… save… so that we can leave this wretched business behind us. But when I get my own house, servants to wait on me … ah! Then you shall see. Perhaps I could get Therese … Dear Therese. With her lotions and concoctions, what she could do with me now. In the country I shall bloom again.” She smiled at her daughter appraisingly, a little complacently.

“You have charm yourself, my dear, but you will never be what I was. Your looks are modern. Looks are not what they were in my young days. Ah! We knew how to be beautiful then. But you have a look of me about you, Carolan. A pity your eyes are so green; blue would have been so much more appealing. And if your hair had been fair like mine … But you have my nose, darling, and my chin, and though not quite my mouth. You have a lot of me in you, Carolan.”

Carolan curtsied.

“Thank you kindly, Mamma.” She stooped and kissed her mother.

“I will leave you to dress now, and perhaps soon my father will be home, and he will take me walking.”

“Do not expect me too soon,” warned Kitty.

“I miss my dear Therese And darling, bring me hot water, please. I loathe cold, and I declare that if either your father or Millie did not bring me hot, I often could not resist the temptation not to wash at all.”

“You shall have hot water, Mamma.”

Thank you. I will wait for it. Ah, my darling, how good it is to have you home! If you could but know how deep was my longing to have you here during those years of separation!”

It was during the afternoon that the idea came to Carolan. Not a single customer had come into the shop. She had listened eagerly for the sound of the bell all the afternoon. Kitty sat in the parlour, idly turning the leaves of Madame D’Arblay’s Evelina, and talking now and then to Carolan. Millie was dusting the upstairs rooms.

Carolan said: “Mamma! I have an idea. I am going into the shop; I want to tidy things a bit. It is very gloomy out there, and I am sure it is wrong to go all day without a single customer. It will be a surprise for my father.”

Kitty laughed.

“My darling, how difficult you find it to sit still, do you not! You are not like I was … even at your age; I was not nearly so restless. But if you would like to…”

“Do you think my father would be pleased?”

“Of course he would be pleased, dear man!”

Then I shall go. Leave the parlour door open and I can talk to you as I work.”

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