Corrupt - Douglas Penelope - Страница 59

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But the day after tomorrow, I’d be a thousand miles away again, and with basketball season approaching, I wouldn’t be home until winter break and then not again until probably summer. It would put her under too much pressure, and I didn’t trust my father or Trevor. Especially Trevor.

“Believe it or not, it’s best,” I assured. “My father would put pressure on you, and I don’t want you dealing with it without me there.”

There was disappointment but also a little anger in her eyes. She needed to understand that I wasn’t trying to piss her off. Her age was an issue, and it made everything complicated.

And that also scared me, because I had no damn clue what she and I were.

All I knew was that we were the same. Did that mean I’d fall in love with her, marry her, be faithful, and live the same day over and over again in this fucking suburb?

No. She and I were built for something different.

I would piss her off, I’d be difficult, and I’d be just as much of a nightmare to her as a dream, but after nearly seventeen years of this pull with her, I knew one thing.

I would always circle her.

It never stopped. Even when we were kids, if she moved, I wanted to move. If she left a room, I wanted to follow. My body was always aware of where she was.

And it was the same for her.

I dipped down, brushing the strap of her tank top off her shoulder and trailing kisses over her skin.

“And I want you to stop sleeping at my house when I’m not there, too,” I demanded. “I don’t want Trevor trying anything with you.”

I grabbed onto her lobe with my teeth, dragging it out, but I stopped when she didn’t respond. I felt her go cold, not making a move or a sound.

Releasing her ear, I brought my head up and looked down at her, seeing her flex her jaw with clear displeasure written across her face.

“Anything else?” she snipped. “I have to shut up and be quiet while you act like I don’t exist when I’m in the same room, because no one can know. Now you get to dictate when we have sex and now where I sleep?”

I straightened my spine, hardening my muscles. She had a point, but it was the way it had to be. I wanted my family ignorant so they wouldn’t fuck with her, and there was no way I’d trust my brother not to try to crawl into her bed at night. No fucking way.

She tipped her chin down, shooting me a defiant stare. “I have to wait and pine for the rare weekend you don’t have a game and happen to make it home,” she continued, “while you get your drones at Thunder Bay Prep to watch me while you’re gone, making sure to inform you of my every move.”

My jaw tugged with a smile I couldn’t help. She’d constantly surprised me tonight. She was a lot smarter than I thought she was.

Okay, maybe I’d planned on getting Brace and Simon to keep an eye out. Make sure no one fucked with her.

Or fucked with what was mine.

“And what about you?” she went on. “Will your bed be just as empty as mine all that time you’re away—college parties, away games, Spring Break with the guys in Miami Beach…”

I narrowed my eyes, searching hers. “Do you think anyone would be as important as you are?”

She shook her head, shooting me a sarcastic smirk. “That’s not an answer.”

And she hopped off the railing, brushing past me.

But I reached out, grabbing her upper arm. “What do you want?” I asked, my voice turning hard. “Huh?”

Her expression suddenly turned sad, and she dropped her eyes. “I want you,” she choked out. “Forever I’ve wanted you, and now I feel…”

She looked up, her eyes glistening.

“What?” I bit out.

“Dirty,” she finally answered. “I felt like your friend tonight. You saw me, you liked me, you respected me… And now I feel like a simple, stupid girl—a dirty secret that needs to sit quiet in a corner and wait for your word to speak or move. I don’t feel like your equal anymore.”

I released her, letting out a bitter laugh as I turned away. “You’re such a kid. A fucking kid.”

Goddamn insecurities and tantrums. It was a year. She couldn’t wait a fucking year?

“I’m not a kid,” she stated. “You’re just a coward. At least Trevor wants me more than anything else.”

I exhaled hard, every muscle in my stomach tightening and burning as I glared at her.

I didn’t think. I grabbed her by the arms and pushed her into the railing in front of the window, hovering down over her face, nearly nose to nose.

I breathed hard, wanting her so goddamn much, but I was pissed beyond everything right now. She had balls to throw that in my face.

Her face twisted up, and she whimpered, “You’re hurting me.”

And I realized my fingers were digging into her arms. I relaxed my hands, trying to calm down, but it was no use. She was right. I was a coward. I wanted everything and to give up nothing.

I wanted her waiting for me and only me. I didn’t want to deal with the stress my family would put on her or me. I didn’t want any opportunities for my brother to win her over while I was gone.

But what was she going to get out of me? Was I enough?

Or was my father right? Was I not worth a damn? Even if I just admitted it to myself, I’d hurt her.

She was too young, I was away all the time, and for the first time in a long time I didn’t like myself. I didn’t like my reflection in her eyes.

She had too much power over me.

I pushed off her, backing up. “This was a mistake,” I bit out, scowling at her. “You’re pretty, and you have a pussy, but other than that, you’re not special. You’re just ass.”

Her eyebrows nose-dived, and her eyes pooled with tears, looking broken.

No one made me feel like shit for who I was, and ripping out her heart wasn’t going to be enough. It needed to be crushed, so she’d never pull that shit again.

I grabbed her shoulders, shaking her and hearing her cry out. “You hear me?” I growled in her face. “You’re not special. You’re nobody!”

And I released her, twisting around and charging down the stairs as my stomach rolled. My chest hollowed, and I sucked in air, struggling to breathe.

I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t see her pain and face it.

So I bolted. Making my way over to the booth, I dug my keys out of my pocket and tossed them on the table.

“Make sure Rika gets home,” I told the guys, unable to hide the anger on my face. “I’m walking.”

“What the hell happened?” Damon demanded, seeing how pissed I was.

But I just shook my head. “I just have to get out of here. Get her home.”

And I left the three of them sitting at the table as I pulled the hood over my head and left in the rain.

Present

HAD TO GET BACK TO THE CITY. YOUR CAR IS OUTSIDE.

I stared down at the text Michael had sent me four days ago when I’d woken up in his bedroom alone.

Filthy, bruised, sore, and alone.

There’d been nothing from him since then, and I hadn’t seen him, either. After our little trip to the catacombs, he must’ve gone over to my house and picked up my car for me before leaving and texting me from the road.

How could he have just left me like that?

I’d heard on the news that his team had gone to Chicago for an exhibition match before the regular season started, but I saw the lights in his penthouse on this morning, so I knew he was home now.

But despite the fact that I knew better, I was still hurt. Finally having him, feeling him inside, was something I hadn’t been able to push out of my head the last four days. It was better than I ever imagined.

He should’ve woken me to say goodbye. Or called to see how I was, at least. I’d just lost my house, and I still couldn’t get a hold of my mother, even though I’d been dialing for days. I also had no luck getting a hold of Mr. or Mrs. Crist on their cell phones, either. If I didn’t hear from anyone by tomorrow, it was time to go to the police. My mother never went this long without calling.

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